Ephesians 5

(1) *Imitate God, **THEREFORE, in everything
you do, because
you are his dear children.

• *Imitate: Greek - mimetes, from which
  we get our word "mimic". mimetes occurs 7 times in the New
  Testament.
  How can anyone do that?
  
  • John 13:34: So now I am giving you a
    new commandment: Love each other. Just as I
    have loved you, you should love each other.
  • 1 Corinthians 4:16: So I urge you to imitate
    me.
  • 1 Corinthians 11:1: And you should imitate
    me, just as I imitate Christ.
  • 1 Thessalonians 1:6: So you received
    the message with joy from the Holy Spirit in spite of the severe
    suffering it brought you. In this way, you imitated
    both us and the Lord.
  • 1 Thessalonians 2:14: And then, dear
    brothers and sisters, you suffered persecution from your own
    countrymen. In this way, you imitated the believers
    in God’s churches in Judea who, because of their belief in Christ
    Jesus, suffered from their own people, the Jews.
  • Hebrews 6:12: Then you will not become
    spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the
    example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises
    because of their faith and endurance.
  • 1 Peter 2:21: For God called you to do
    good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He
    is your example, and you must follow in his steps.
  • So, how can we imitate God?
  • In many important respects, it is utterly impossible for us
    to imitate God. We cannot copy
    God, for example, in either his creative or his redemptive work. But,
    in
    the areas of attitude and relationships, we can follow our
    Maker. Especially we are to become more like our heavenly Father in
    love and forgiveness.
• **therefore: Back to 4:1: Therefore
  I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life
  worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.
  
  • Paul is going to continue illustrating how to lead a life
    worthy of our calling. Do you remember the examples in chapter 4?

(2) *Live a life filled with **love, following the
example
of Christ. He loved us and ***offered himself as a
sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

• This is the key verse for chapter 5.
• *Live a life filled with love - "Walk in
  love".
  
  • 3-Fold walk (much clearer in the KJV):
    
    • 5:2-7: Walk in love.
    • 5:8-14: Walk in light.
    • 5:15-16: Walk circumspectly (wisely).
  **love:
  
  • Ephesians 3:17: Then Christ will make
    his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow
    down into God’s love and keep you strong.
  • Ephesians 4:2: Always be humble and
    gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s
    faults because of your love.
  • Ephesians 4:15: Instead, we will speak
    the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like
    Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
  • John 13:34: So now I am giving you a
    new commandment: Love each other. Just as I
    have loved you, you should love each other.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
    
    • Love is patient and kind. -
      ARE YOU?
    • Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or
      rude. - ARE YOU?
    • It does not demand its own way. -
      DO YOU?
    • It is not irritable, - DO YOU?
    • and it keeps no record of being wronged.
      - DO YOU?
    • It does not rejoice about injustice
      but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. - DO YOU?
    • Love never gives up,
    • never loses faith,
    • is always hopeful, and
    • endures through every circumstance.
      - IS THAT HOW YOU LOVE?
  • 1 Corinthians 16:14: And do
    everything with love.
  • Colossians 3:14: Above all, clothe
    yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect
    harmony.
  • 1 Peter 4:8: Most important of all,
    continue to show deep love for each other, for love
    covers a multitude of sins.
  • 1 John 3:23: And this is his
    commandment: We must believe in the name of
    his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as
    he commanded us.
• ***offered himself as a
  sacrifice for us:
  
  • Ephesians 5:25: For husbands, this
    means love your
    wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life
    for her
  • John 15:12-13: This is my commandment:
    Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no
    greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
  • Titus 2:14: He gave his life
    to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his
    very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.
  • Hebrews 9:14: Just think how much more
    the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so
    that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal
    Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice
    for our sins.
  • 1 Peter 2:4: He personally carried our
    sins in his body on the cross
    so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By
    his wounds you are healed.
  • 1 John 3:16: We know what real
    love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So
    we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.

(3) BUT let there be no *sexual
immorality, impurity, or **greed among you. Such sins have no
place among God’s people.

• *sexual
  immorality - Greek porneia.
  
  • Covers all sexual sins,
    including adultery, fornication, homosexuality, etc. These were not
    considered by the Gentiles in that time and area.
  • Galatians 5:19: When you follow
    the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear:
    sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,
  • 1 Corinthians 6:13,18-20: You say,
    “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is
    true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you
    can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were
    made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. ... Run
    from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as
    this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own
    body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple
    of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by
    God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high
    price. So you must honor God with your body.
  • Jude 1:7: And don’t forget Sodom and
    Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality
    and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities
    were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of
    God’s judgment.
• **greed - Greek pleonexia:
  A greedy or covetous man makes a god of his money.
  
  • Luke 12:15: Then he said, “Beware!
    Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how
    much you own.”

(4) *Obscene stories, foolish talk, and **coarse jokes—these
are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness
to God.

• *Obscene stories: It's pretty easy to know what
  this and "coarse
  jokes" mean, but what about "foolish talk"?
• **coarse jokes: "jesting" in the KJV.
  
  • Matthew 12:36: And I tell you this, you
    must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you
    speak.
  • Colossians 4:6: Let your conversation
    be gracious and attractive so that you will have the
    right response for everyone.

(5) You can be sure that no *immoral, impure, or
greedy person will **inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God.
For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the
things of this world.

• *immoral: fornicator.
• **inherit: Loss of reward! Remember the prodigal
  son? Remember 1 Corinthians 3:12-15?
  
  • 1 Corinthians 3:12-15: Anyone who
    builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver,
    jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what
    kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a
    person’s work has any value. If the work survives,
    that builder will receive a reward. But if the work
    is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The
    builder will be saved, but like someone barely
    escaping through a wall of flames.
  • Colossians 3:24: Remember that the Lord
    will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the
    Master you are serving is Christ.
• Colossians 3:5: So put to death the sinful,
  earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with
  sexual
  immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy,
  for a
  greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

(6) Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the
anger of God will fall on all who disobey him.

(7) Don’t participate in the things these
people do.

• This is hard enough today, but imagine how hard it must have been
  for these believers living in the midst of sin - like Lot.

(8) For once you were full of darkness, but
now you have *light from the Lord. So live as people
of light!

• *light: light in verses 8, 9, 13,14.

(9) For this light within you produces only
what is good and right and true.

• Galatians 5:22-23: But the Holy Spirit
  produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy,
  peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and
  self-control. There is no law against these things!

(10) Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.

• Not what pleases ourselves, but what pleases him. How do we find
  this out? By consulting God’s word, Isaiah 8:20 (Look
  to God’s instructions and teachings! People who contradict his word are
  completely in the dark).

(11) Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness;
instead, expose them.

• 2 Corinthians 6:14: Don’t team up with
  those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with
  wickedness? How can light live with darkness?

(12) It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly
people do in secret.

(13) But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light
shines on them,

(14) for the light makes everything visible.
This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and
Christ will give you light.”

• John 3:19-21: And the judgment is based on
  this fact: God’s light came into the world, but
  people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were
  evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go
  near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do
  what is right come to the light so others can see that they
  are doing what God wants.”
• 1 John 1:5-7: This is the message we heard
  from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is
  no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have
  fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not
  practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as
  God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other,
  and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

(15) So be careful how you live. Don’t
live like fools, but like those who are wise.

(16) Make the most of every opportunity in
these evil days.

(17) Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand
what the Lord wants you to do.

• Proverbs 3:5: Trust in the Lord
  with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
• Luke 22:42: “Father, if you are
  willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I
  want your will to be done, not mine.”

(18) Don’t be *drunk with wine, because that
will ruin your life. Instead, **be filled with the Holy Spirit,

• *drunk:
  
  • Proverbs 23:31: Don’t gaze at the wine,
    seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes
    down.
  • Isaiah 5:11: What sorrow for those who
    get up early in the morning looking for a drink of alcohol and spend
    long evenings drinking wine to make themselves flaming drunk.
  • Bacchus is the Roman god of wine. When people engaged in
    these unbelievable drunken brawls, they were called Bacchanalian
    feasts. They engaged in orgies of sexual perversion. The
    key element in pagan worship was drunkenness.
  • What do an alcohol-filled life and a Holy Spirit-filled life
    have in common? In both cases, a man becomes “a different person.” How
    many women stay married to a wife-beater because they say he's really
    nice when he's sober!
• **be filled:
  
  • This is in the present progressive imperative tense = be
    constantly filled with the Holy Spirit.
  • Colossians 3:16: Let the message about
    Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives...
  • Men are said to be filled with wine when completely under its
    influence. In the same way, they are said to be filled with the Spirit
    when He controls their thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
  • Dwight L. Moody once demonstrated the principle like this:
    “Tell me,” he said to his audience, “how can I get the air out of the
    tumbler I have in my hand?” One man said, “Suck it out with a pump.”
    But the evangelist replied, “That would create a vacuum and shatter
    it.” Finally after many suggestions, Moody picked up a pitcher and
    quietly filled the glass with water. “There,” he said, “all the air is
    now removed.” He then explained that victory for the child of God does
    not come by working hard to eliminate sinful habits, but rather by
    allowing the Holy Spirit to take full possession.
• This is the key that unlocks all the rest. From that great
  principle flows the instruction to the wife in verse 22, the
  instruction to the husband in verse 25, the instruction to the children
  in 6:1 and the instruction to the parents in 6:2. All of that marriage
  and family teaching flows out of this principle. In fact, it is the
  first of several necessary prerequisites for any
  successful marriage or any successful relationship.

(19) singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among
yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.

(20) And give thanks for everything to God
the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

• 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Be thankful
  in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who
  belong to Christ Jesus.
• Philippians 4:6: Don’t worry about
  anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank
  him for all he has done.
• Colossians 3:17: And whatever you do or
  say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving
  thanks through him to God the Father.

(21) And further, submit to one another out
of reverence for Christ.

• Notice that before Paul talks about wives submitting to their
  husbands, he says we are to SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER!
• Submission will not be a problem in homes where the husband and
  wife both have submitted themselves and their relationship to Christ,
  are walking with Him and have placed their marriage and love for each
  other above all else but under Christ.
• Since we are commanded to submit ourselves one
  to another, we are to place all others above ourselves.

(22) For wives, this means *submit
to
your husbands as to the Lord.

• *submit: hupotasso is a military term
  meaning "to put under" or "to arrange under".
• 1 Corinthians 11:3: But there is one thing
  I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ,
  the head of woman is man, and the head of
  Christ is God.
• Colossians 3:18: Wives, submit to your
  husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
• Proverbs 21:9: It’s better to live alone in
  the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in
  a lovely home.
• Christianity brought with it significant change for women, and
  apparently their freedom was a source of offense to non-Christians. In
  Galatians 3:28, for example, Paul wrote that distinctions like male and
  female no longer determined value. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, he counseled
  Christians that they did not have to stay with an unbelieving spouse
  who wanted to leave. That he would have granted wives such privilege
  would have been surprising to non-Christians, for the assumption of the
  day was that a wife would take the gods of her husband. It is
  understandable, therefore, that in Titus 2:5, Paul instructed women “to
  be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of
  God.”
• The sinful tendency of fallen men is to dominate their wives by
  brute force. Even some Christian men are guilty of being too
  heavy-handed with authority. They practically lord it over their wives,
  as if marriage were designed to be a master-slave relationship. Some
  have even tried to claim that Ephesians 5:24 supports such a notion,
  because it urges wives to be subject to their husbands “in everything.”
  But that perspective of the husband’s role is antithetical to the
  pattern of headship Christ gives us. Anyone who thinks that way simply
  needs to read further into Ephesians 5. When Paul turned his attention
  to husbands he didn’t say, “Husbands, rule your wives; order them
  around; command them; exercise authority over them; dominate them”—or
  anything of the sort. He told them to love their wives as Christ loves
  the church: sacrificially, tenderly, meekly, and with a servant’s
  heart. This is how husbands are to show submission to their wives.
• Neither husband nor wife submitting = selfishness.
  
  One spouse submitting while the other doesn't = abuse.
  
  Mutual submission = the kind of marriage God wants for us.

(23) For a husband is the head of his wife as
Christ is the *head of the church. He is the Savior of
his body, the church.

• Colossians 1:18: Christ is also the head of the
  church, which is his body. He is the beginning,
  supreme over all who rise from the dead. So he is first in everything.
• Ephesians 5:23 does not focus on authority, but on the
  self-giving love of both Christ and the husband. Just as Jesus
  redefined greatness as being a servant (Matthew 20:26 – 27), Paul
  redefines being head as having responsibility to love, to give oneself
  and to nurture. A priority is placed on the husband, but, contrary to
  ancient society, it is for the benefit of the wife. The activity of
  both wife and husband is based in their relation to Christ and in his
  giving himself for the church.
• The joy of Christ will be to present to himself the Church,
  cleansed, holy and without blemish. That will be our moment of greatest
  joy as the Bride of Christ. Likewise, the joy of the husband is found
  in the joy of this wife. Husbands, you will never find joy and
  fulfillment in your marriage until your greatest joy is the joy and
  fulfillment of your wife.

(24) As the church submits to Christ, so you wives
should submit to your husbands in everything.

• So, HOW does the church (the body of Christ - you and me) submit
  to Christ? In blind, unloving, fearing obedience? Or, in response to
  His sacrificial love?

(25) For husbands, this means *love
your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave
up his life for her

• *love: This is agape
  love. This is a self-sacrificial love.
• 1 Peter 3:7: In the same way, you husbands
  must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding
  as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she
  is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as
  you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
• Colossians 3:19: Husbands, love your wives
  and never treat them harshly.
• When love is not the context of the
  husband/wife relationship, a petty tyranny begins to take shape. And so
  this is the
  headship of love, it is the leadership of love, it is the guiding of
  affection.
• Husbands are not only to love their wives, they are to give up
  their lives for them - what does that mean?
• This links back up with verse 2: Live a life filled
  with love, following the example
  of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a
  sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
• It is said that Cyrus, the founder of the Persian empire, once
  had captured a prince and his family. When they came before him, the
  monarch asked the prisoner, “What will you give me if I release you?”
  “The half of my wealth,” was the prince’s reply. “And if I release your
  children?” the monarch asked. “Everything I possess.” “And if I release
  your wife?” The prince replied, “Your majesty, I would give myself.”
  Cyrus was so moved by this man’s devotion, that he freed them all. As
  they returned home, the prince said to this wife, “Wasn’t Cyrus a
  handsome man?” With a look of deep love and respect for her husband,
  she said to him, “I didn’t even notice. I could only keep my eyes on
  the one who was willing to give himself for me.”
• This love is sacrificial, supernatural. It is not about getting,
  but about giving. The headship of the man speaks of care, not control;
  of responsibility, not rule. In this spirit, the husband lovingly leads
  his wife according to Luke 22:26 – "the leader should be like a
  servant"
• Paul tells us here in Ephesians, five ways to imitate God in your
  love toward your wife.

(26) to make her holy and clean, washed by
the cleansing of God’s word.

• Titus 3:5: he saved us, not because of the
  righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He
  washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life
  through the Holy Spirit.
• Ezekiel 36:25-27: “Then I will
  sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be
  washed away, and you will no longer worship idols.

(27) He did this to present her to himself as a glorious
church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish.
Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

(28) In the same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his
wife actually shows love for himself.

• The command is not for the husbands to merely show affection, but
  to LOVE their wives and cherish
  her more than his own life and welfare.
• Men are the heads of the household and are therefore, ultimately
  responsible for the direction that the marriage takes. It is not as if
  women do not contribute to that direction. But if the marriage goes in
  a bad direction, the husband is ultimately responsible. One reason why
  a lot of women want to get out of their
  relationship is that the husband has not truly loved his wife as he
  loves himself. Instead, he loves himself more than his wife.
• This elevation and commitment to a wife was frankly revolutionary
  in the Roman world, as it is revolutionary in our world today. Kato, a
  Roman writer, said, "If you are to catch your wife in an act of
  infidelity, kill her without a trial. But if she catches you, she would
  not venture to touch you with her finger, she has no right."
• Unless God is shaping our lives and thoughts, there is no way we
  will be able to consistently love our wives.
• The husband is to love his wife with God’s love. God’s love has
  several characteristics. If our love falls short of these qualities,
  then we should no longer call what we do love. The apostle Paul uses
  the Greek word ‘agape’ to describes this love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
  and elsewhere in the New Testament:
  
  • Love is patient and kind.
    Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
    or rude. It does not demand its own way.
    It is not irritable, and it keeps no record
    of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices
    whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up,
    never loses faith, is always hopeful,
    and endures through every circumstance.
• How should a man love his wife?
  
  • He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her.
  • He should make her well-being of primary importance and
  • He should care for her as he cares for his own body.
    
    • No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her
      in this way.

(29) No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for
it, just as Christ cares for the church.

(30) And we are members of his body.

(31) As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother
and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

• Genesis 2:24: This explains why a man leaves
  his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two
  are united into one.
• "Oneness" requires the husband and wife to blend together as one
  under God’s rulership. If the husband and wife remain as two so that
  they retain their individualism and independence, then they will
  destroy their marriage and lives. Many Christian marriages are not
  Christian at all because they do not live as one but two.

(32) This is a great mystery, but it is an
illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

(33) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he
loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

• Mrs. T. Grace Atkinson of The National Organization of Women
  says, "Marriage is legalized servitude and family relations are the
  basis for all human oppression."
• There is no question about the fact that the family is under a
  major assault, that people want to redefine family in absolutely any
  terms they want.
• Every year millions of hopeful couples pledge themselves in
  marriage and half of
  them end in a fight that splits the marriage. And when those who have
  that
  one split go on to marry again, two thirds of them will split, because
  they never really understood what caused the original problem and have
  not really changed.
• If you have a Spirit-filled, obedient, praising,
  worshiping, thankful, submissive heart, you've got the stuff that's
  going to make a wonderful family, a wonderful marriage and a wonderful
  life. Anything else is a battle for your own way, it's that simple.
  Only the power of the Holy Spirit can overrule this and produce joy.
• In the home, the buck stops with the husband, with the father.
  And
  if all is not well, the greatest measure of responsibility for that may
  well be in the hands of the leader, the husband / father. By God's
  design and by
  God's will, clearly expressed in Scripture, the man is the head of the
  household, he is the leader, he is the one responsible for the success
  of the marriage, the success of the family, the well-being of everyone
  involved.
• Where are the strong husbands? Where are the loyal, loving,
  leading husbands and fathers? Where are those men who are the backbone,
  the solid framework of structure on which you can build a marriage and
  build a family and build a society? Men have developed their own
  agendas, their own goals, pursuing their own achievements, living in
  worlds, for the most part, isolated completely from the family, out of
  the house, pursuing personal goals, active in their own world of
  business and passive largely in the home. They are, in their world,
  aggressive, doers, problem solvers, coming up with all kinds of
  innovative and inventive ways to make money, seeking promotion,
  prestige and respect from the strangers in their other world. They are
  driven to achieve. And in the home, for the most part, they appear
  passive, indifferent, and irresponsible. A clear principle then is
  given
  in verse 25 - the husband's responsibility is to love his wife. It
  doesn't say rule her, he already has that tendency, even a tendency to
  dominate her, to control her, to command her. The curse does that. He
  is told here that he is to love her. It is the leadership of care. He
  is the stronger vessel, as Peter
  says. It is his responsibility to give direction and provision and
  leadership. But it is in a context of love...always in a context of
  love.
• Successful marriages require teamwork: In days of old on the farm
  the best field work was done with a team of horses that were equally
  matched. With both horses pulling together and equally sharing the
  weight of the load, the plow made a straight furrow. Marriage takes
  work, but it is good work, it takes 100% effort by both husband and
  wife, 100% of the time. It takes a man who will treat his wife with
  honor, it takes a woman who will respect her husband. Marriage takes
  two people who are able to bite their tongues and develop a
  relationship not based on feelings or attraction, but one based on
  faith and love. Faith in God, love for God and love for one another.